Living in a Box of Limitations

Judgment is a rather harsh word, however we all practice it every day of our lives, whether we want to admit to it or not. When we walk into a room of people there are immediate judgments passed. Judgment is passed on the room, the décor or lack of it. Upon first meeting we assume things about people based on their appearance; their clothing or “sense of style,” shoes, hairstyle, cleanliness, how attractive they are or not, etc... We decide if the person is “cool” or “our type of person.” If our assumptions are positive we may sit near them or speak to them, if negative we may avoid them. However, in the end it may turn out that the person who was not “cool” is actually someone we would enjoy having a conversation with and the person we deemed “cool” is a drone.

In the two stories we read by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, he very pointedly makes fun of this aspect of human nature. In “The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World” the people are so obsessed with this corpse that their conceptions of reality are thrown out the window, so to speak. At first it is simply the women who are overtaken by this idea they have created in their own heads. The men are annoyed with them and all the trouble they are causing, however, they were quickly drawn into this false sense of reality. “...the women kept piling on their junk relics, running back and forth, stumbling, while they released in sighs what they did not in tears, so that the men finally exploded with since when has there ever been such a fuss over a drifting corpse, a drowned nobody, a piece of cold Wednesday meat. One of the women, mortified by so much lack of care, then removed the handkerchief from the dead man’s face and the men were left breathless too. He was Esteban. It was not necessary to repeat it for them to recognize him... There was so much truth in his manner that even the most mistrustful men, the ones who felt the bitterness of endless nights at sea fearing that their women would tire of dreaming about them and begin to dream of drowned men...” A dead man is washed upon shore, he is different than most the men in the village, and within a short time he becomes an invasion into their fantasies. A whole life is created for this “piece of cold Wednesday meat.”

Marquez mocks the fact that we can take one tiny insignificant thing and blow it up into something so huge and ridiculous and completely unrealistic. Having a vivid imagination is not a bad thing. However, when it becomes a fantasy world that we live in, issues begin to arise. Our view of what actually is reality becomes more and more blurred until we live our daily lives as if this fantasy world we’ve created is real. There are many reasons people do this, some do it for “legitimate” reasons. A child who lives in constant fear and horrible abuse may allow themselves to create a fantasy world where they are loved and free from harm, this fantasy world may give them the ability to survive from one day to the next. But others do it because they no longer like the reality they live in, so they create something else, something more interesting or exciting, or simply to just run away.

Marriage is an institution that should be taken very seriously. It should not be entered into carelessly or thoughtlessly. Unfortunately today people want what they want and they want it now. Marriage is easily entered into and exited. The idea of marriage or getting married is so romanticized and idealized, but the reality of it is rarely addressed. Prince Charming and Cinderella are not real. They are fantasies that we create in our minds, fantasies that will never come to life. When I was younger, I remember a girl I knew had made this list of things she wanted in the guy she married someday. After she showed it to me, she asked me what mine was. I was baffled. We were 12 maybe 13. How could she know all of that??? We were still kids. Was there something wrong with me, that I didn't know all of that? Sadly, real life never works out quite the way we picture it in our fantasies.

In the second story, “A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings,” the people are horrified, mystified, and captivated by this strange creature that came to be in their lives. They caged it up, threw food or more like trash to it, they poked it, laughed at it, and paid money to see it, but refused to believe it to be an angel. Why couldn’t this creature have been an angel? Well, “he did not understand the language of God or know how to greet His ministers... he was too much human: he had an unbearable smell of the outdoors, the back side of his wings was strewn with parasites and his main feathers had been mistreated by terrestrial winds...” But most importantly this creature could not be an angel because “nothing about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels.” Who is to say what an angel looks like? Who is to say what the “language of God” is? Who is to say how one is to greet their ministers? The people had allowed themselves to be put into a box of limitations. They lived their lives and made their assumptions based on what someone else told them.

People are constantly creating these “boxes of limitations.” We stereotype everything. Woman? Well, they love chocolate, shopping, shoes, clothes, etc... and hate dirt or bugs or being outside. Men? They love being outside and doing “manly” things, playing sports, working on cars, etc... Me? Upon first glance, I may seem to be very girlie and "fragile," for lack of a better word. I have fancy handwriting and truly do enjoy cooking. However, appearances can be quite deceiving. I strongly dislike, not hate, just strongly dislike, chocolate. I passionately hate shopping. I only have as many shoes as are absolutely necessary; sneakers, chucks, and flip flops can be worn with everything, right?! Cloths oh shoot me! Why do I need 700 shirts and 300 pairs of jeans? (small exaggeration) If I were given the option I would prefer to go outside and run around in the woods, climbing over logs and wading through creeks or go hiking. Mud and bugs? They don’t bother me. Is this typical? Who cares, forcing ourselves to live inside a box of limitations keeps us from seeing what is really around us. Not only does it limit our vision, but it stunts our growth as individual human beings and we force ourselves to live by someone else’s standard of life.